Mattle of Tegridy

From UltraVanilla

The Mattle of Tegridy was a collapse in civil society that occurred on January 24th 2023 in Tegridy between multiple players. The conflict is directly tied to the bell event that occurred alongside Voyager II, as most of the participants were in Tegridy to anticipate the arrival of Mattesco. Taking place in downtown Tegridy at the site of the two McDonalds'


As Mattesco approached Tegridy in the late evening of January 24th 2023, A congregation of players had formed in Tegridy, the first of many destinations on the Voyager II bell tour. In the anticipation, a band of players had also joined a Voice call on the Discord server. The congregation began as a simple party plan with players opting to bring drinks and other goods to enjoy the festivities as the Voyager approached, with players coming and going over the evening before the arrival.

Rising violence

As the evening wore on, more players began to turn to violence to pass the time. With Luseis and Manatee often killing one another while waiting. Hyp3rion_ would also end up slaying players with ranged weaponry on numerous occassions. As part of this congregation, some players began constructing a McDonald's based upon the popular American fast food chain, this idea being generated from pintsizedrogue after asking "can we stop at maccies"[1] in response to Mattesco's quip that telling the congregation his distance from Tegridy felt like "being a dad in a car."[2]

The Mattle of Tegridy

The McDonalds crisis

During the construction of the classic M sign (as featured at most McDonald's franchises), players would begin to punch eachother off the platform it was being built on.[3] Shortly after this, Jackattack53 and Hyp3rion_ would overrun the tower, and begin using Crossbows loaded with fireworks to attack players. With the first casualty of this being Luseis, who fell to Hyp3rion_ using "Apollo"[4]. This issue would lead to the formation of a "Tower Army" in which players who were on the tower banded together under a truce. The rising unrest would spill over after StinkyDiplomat's frog, Dr Frogandas, died to a firework rocket shot by the Tower army[5], as during the scheduled One minute silence for the Doctor, Beeperbeeper5 would use the firework launcher "Tripolo" to execute all the players in the congregation[6], marking the start of the Mattle of Tegridy.

The Battle

The battle was fought using a mixture of firework launchers and conventional warfare, players who were on the sidelines for peaceful purposes remained involved in the conflict and found themselves being murdered anyway. The Tower Army held firm in their truce as players below fell to all out civil warfare. With players in the party camp fighting their fellow partygoers aswell as the Tower army.

Luseis is shot by the Tower army

The Tower Army

The (Unofficially named) Tower army was a micro truce formed by Hyp3rion_ and Jackattack53 during the construction of the McDonalds "arch" sign. The duo remained allies as other players joined and left the truce. Their form of combat was the use of conventional bows and swords.


The Anarchists were the players whom fought between themselves, not formed with any truce or actual goal. These included PazinGaming, Luseis, Beeperbeeper5 and Manatee, Later joined by pintsizedrogue. Anarchists would fight using conventional weapons and firework launchers, mostly attacking people on accident whilst trying to attack the Tower Army. Unlike the Tower Army, the anarchists had no formal battleground.

The "Help" sign enscribed into the earth as viewed from a map with all players present

The Pacifists

The Pacifists, most notably StinkyDiplomat, Mr_Byzantine and initially pintsizedrogue, attempted to remain out of the conflict in its initial stages. However they would unsuccessfully find themselves dragged back into the fight with each attempt to leave it. Despite this, the pacifists would make hardly any attempts to fight back against their attackers, with the only confirmed kill being from Pintsizedrogue against Luseis.[7] After this attack however, Pint would leave the pacifist corps and move into the Anarchist faction, with further kills against Luseis and PazinGaming

Weapons used

A list of the players weapons that were registered in chat during kills at the Mattle of Tegridy

Manatee: [bubbles]

Hyp3rion_: [God Rod], [Apollo], [HYP3RB0W A], [HYP3RB0W B], [Perseus]

Jackattack53: [A Laser Cannon], [Bear Poker], [A Fork], [Thundercock 2.0]

Beeperbeeper5: [Tripolo], [Blade of Seven]

PazinGaming: [⚠ t h e y e l l o w ⚠], [SPIN]

Pintsizedrogue: [➹ no drawbacks ➹], [Tempest], [Murder She Wrote]


Beeper rides a pig amidst the Chaos of the Mattle of Tegridy

In the immediate aftermath of the battle, over 50 kills had taken place, split amongst the many combattents. In all, no winners were declared, as goes by a war of general anarchy.

The congregation returned to general partying, enjoying fishing and other activities in the last hours before Matt's arrivals, Players such as Jessewegottacook, TheSecondLord and lordpipe would all arrive as the hours passed.

Mattesco's Arrival

Voyager II Arrives at Tegridy

Mattesco would arrive in Tegridy at approximately 00:48UTC on January 25th 2023. Placing the first of many bells on the Voyager II trip, and accepting gifts from players, including a special book from Manatee, A shamrock shackle from pintsizedrogue at McDonalds and a crystal from Pip at the Tegridy bridge stating "85% done!". The Bell placed at Tegridy would pay homage to the Mattle of Tegridy stating it's dedication "in loving memory" He would also visit both McDonalds and the warground in which the battle had taken place hours earlier. This moment of festivity would bring an end to the Mattle of Tegridy. He would later voyage to Pearlsville and Malus before embarking on the rest of the Voyager II trip over the next few days until completing it on January 27th.

The Exhibit of the Mattle of Tegridy at the Rotherhythe Museum

Impact today

Today the Mattle of Tegridy is tributed in the form of the Voyager II sign and artefacts at the Rotherhythe Museum's Voyager Exhibition. In Tegridy, the two McDonald's chains still stand on their original sites. Initially, a hole in the ground spelling out the word "Help" made of fire was left behind in Tegridy, however this was later covered over, besides a few scars on the local landscape, the Mattle of Tegridy holds no real impact beyond the infamousness of it all.

Sources (Discord message links)